Grieving for a loved one is very possibly the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. Understand that it will take time and effort to heal, but you will heal if that is what you want. (Holding onto the past and your anguish is an option, but I certainly wouldn’t recommend it.) While time will be the biggest factor in helping you heal – and unfortunately the amount of time is different for everyone – there are techniques and tips you can use to help yourself find your center and your inner happiness again.
Remember, grieving is not about forgetting the person you’ve lost, but instead is about coming to terms with the reality of your loss.
1. Give yourself permission to grieve. Always remember that it’s okay to be sad about the fact that the person you love isn’t around anymore. Allow yourself the freedom to explore the full range of emotions that may come up such as sadness, anger, and even happiness at the memories of your life together.
2. Do something special for your lover. The death of your lover doesn’t have to bring an end to the love you shared. You can do something special to honor them such as taking roses to their grave, writing a heartfelt love letter to them, or lighting a special scented candle in their memory. Expressing your love to them even after their demise helps you feel connected to them in a special way.
3. Give yourself a treat. Do something really special for yourself. Pamper yourself by going to the spa, having dinner at your favorite restaurant or sending yourself flowers. Indulge in your favorite hobbies. Taking time out to give yourself a cute treat will definitely lift your spirits. However, remember to recognize your limitations. Don’t force yourself to do an activity you don’t feel up to.
4. Do something nice for others. One of the best feelings is the sheer bliss that comes after doing something nice for someone who has nothing to offer you. You can volunteer somewhere, buy a homeless person food, or give blood.
5. Seek support. You don’t have to put on a brave face or go through your grief alone. Reach out to your friends or members of your family who you can talk to about how you feel without being judged. Tell them what you need, so they can help you in the best way possible.
If you’re having a really tough time coping with your grief over a loved one’s passing, it always helps to talk to a grief counselor or therapist. I offer counseling services and you can contact me to book a session.